The Reading Habits Tag

Well, there's an extra Friday this month, so I thought I'd pick up a book/reading tag from Lady B's blog. I don't write much about myself here anymore, but perhaps this will give my readers a little inside look at the author of all the Facing the Waves devotionals. I'm not just a writer. I'm a reader.

Random Facts about Me (and My Books)
Last year, I bought the lifetime version of LibraryThing.com and began cataloguing all my books. It was a long process at first, but now it's much easier, as I just add them in as I get them. Currently, I'm at 963 books. The scary thing is that I should be able to make it to 1000 books by the end of the year. Without any trouble.

I have nine individual shelves of books. Seven of which are in my room. I have two shelves of the books I used to read as a kid. One shelf holds counseling/coaching/life type books and my special fiction books. Another shelf has my favorite non-fiction books. The shelf above my bed has all the books I've never read (easily accessible ;), and the remaining two shelves holds fiction and non-fiction books that I don't read much.

I have the Kindle app on my laptop and I have several hundred books in there, I think. I'm trying to do better at reading them, because sometimes I forget they exist. I like my "real" books better. ;) I also have a Pinterest board of book quotes and book shelves and pictures and book house ideas. Maybe someday the hidden rooms or stairs or windowseats made out of books will be come a reality. 

I don't throw away books. Perhaps that's a fault of mine, but unless a book is completely bad with no hope of redemption, then I don't throw them away. I might not recommend them to people or display them where people can see them, but they're still there somewhere. 

I love series of books, and I attempt to collect them when I can. There are some amazing Christian fiction and allegory-type books coming out by young authors, and I'm hoping to find more series as I find good ones. The covers of books in the last 3-4 years...oh my. They've been amazing. I wish I could say that the content is always as good, but as I haven't read all the new books, I can't. However, the authors and illustrators and publishers are doing an amazing job of cover details. 

My family tells me I have book radar. There are few book stores or book sales that I can go by and not stop at. I also don't miss the signs leading up to them. I always take a book with me wherever I go. You know. Just In Case. I sign up for all the websites that offer free books, and I enter the giveaways for books (never won any, of course). And I'm starting to try to help out authors and buyers by posting short reviews--haven't created a habit of that, yet, but I hope to!

I don't like reading a series as it's published. I'd rather wait until the whole series is complete and then just read straight through it all. And I'm not one of those people who loves the books better than the movie necessarily. In some cases there are extreme differences, but somehow I can love the books and movies as they are and for what they show individually. 

So...all that because those are extra details you probably won't find in the answers to the tag questions. ;) 

1. Do you have a certain place at home for reading?
My bed or my desk(s). It really doesn't matter actually. I can read anywhere in any place. I like to read at my desk if it's a Kindle book or I read in my bed before I go to sleep. I remember when I was younger I cleaned out under my desk and created a little hideout by covering the desk with a blanket. Then I'd just sit under my desk and read there. It wasn't very comfortable, though, so it didn't last long. I think I liked the idea better than the reality of it. Couches are great for reading, too. 

2. Bookmark or random piece of paper?
Both. I use bookmarks primarily, but if I don't have one accessable, then I use paper, money, kleenex, tissue paper, grocery lists, receipts, bobby pins, another book, earbuds, or whatever happens to be lying around. I don't like lying the book face open, though. That's just horrible. I always stick something in it rather than splitting the spin by lying it down open. But I try to carry bookmarks around with me. I have a container next to my bed with all my special bookmarks in it.

3. Can you just stop reading or do you have to stop after a chapter/ a certain amount of pages?
Non-fiction books I can stop anywhere, though I always try to finish the chapter. When reading fiction, I try to end the scene, wherever that might be. But when all else fails, I just stop--fiction or non-fiction. I can usually pick it up just fine later on, so I don't think about it too much. 

4. Do you eat or drink while reading?
Yes, I have done and do both. Sometimes I'll avoid it if it's a really special book or if it's brand new, but I'm pretty good at not damaging books while I read. Comes with practice I guess...and from being homeschooled and doing online college. :P

5. Multitasking: Music or TV while reading?
Well, we've never had a TV, but I can read with movies and music. Sometimes I listen to music on purpose while reading. I don't typically read while watching a movie, but I have been tempted to sometimes. I can read through most noise and distraction, which I think is nice. It has it's pros and cons. ;) I can do many things while reading: listen to lectures for school (which isn't the best idea ever, actually), texting, music, listening to conversations, walking around the house, eating. And audio books are great when driving. I'm just finding that out recently!

6. One book at a time or several at once?
Several at once. I like finishing a book on a fairly regular basis, and that doesn't happen if it's a slower-going book. I have about four on the go right now. I tend to read fiction very quickly, so it's good to throw one of those in now and then to balance out the non-fiction that sometimes takes longer. I read several non-fiction at once to give me variety in topics and to connect mentally with another topic if one book is just not working. 

7. Reading at home or everywhere?
Everywhere! In doctors' offices, airplanes, cars, libraries, parks, beaches, malls, bedrooms, dentists', backyards, barns, lofts, alone, with friends. Anywhere, basically. When it's not rude. ;) And read late at night or early in the morning. 

8. Reading out loud or silently in your head?
In my head. I can read fine out loud, but I read much quicker in my head so it keeps me mentally alert, rather than forcing my brain to slow down to verbalizing each word. I understand things quicker and better when I read in my head, than when I read out loud. Though, when things are hard to understand (like for school or exams), I have been known to say the sentence or paragraph aloud to try to understand it better. I like reading in my head, because the imagination creates the voices and scenes which can be shattered if someone reads it aloud. 

9. Do you read ahead or even skip pages?
I read ahead. Particularly the endings. Especially if I'm suspicious of the author's plot and I want to make sure some character makes it to the end. In reading non-fiction, sometimes I'll skip ahead to a topic that I need or that is more relevant. However, I don't read ahead often, and if I do, I read it again when I come around to it a second time. I never skip pages not to read them. I just return to them later on. I once attempted to read ahead on a short story someone was writing for me. *cough* It didn't work very well despite my pleas and arguments. But they can't say I didn't try..and it was most fun in the process. :D 

10. Breaking the spine or keeping it like new?
I like to keep it new. Breaking the spine does eventually happen, but I try to keep my books in as good condition as they came (or better, if they were bought second-hand). I don't mind getting books in rough shape. I like to think they get a better home with me, but on the other hand, I love the new-new of books straight from the bookstore. 

11. Do you write in your books? 
The first thing I do when I get a book is write my name and the date in it. I didn't always do that, so I'm guessing that many of my books are missing that, but I've been doing it for several years now, and I intend to keep up the practice. I don't write in my books, but I will underline sentences or bracket paragraphs if I find them meaningful. I didn't used to do that, but college courses cause me to mark things so I wouldn't spend hours trying to find that one paragraph. I highlight in my Kindle books when I remember to do so. Other than that I don't typically write in my books. But I do write messages on the first available page when I'm giving books to friends. That's a special part of giving and receiving books. 

There you have it. A little more about me and my books. I read to learn...to educate myself, but also to find people, places, and characters who have lived life and come out victorious on the other side. I read to find hope. But the best place to receive wisdom, education, and hope is from the Bible. All other stories and authors are only tiny replicas of The Greatest Story ever written. And they are replicas in and of themselves, because, regardless of the content (and yes, sometimes it can be very bad content), people are made in the image of God and they have eternity set in their hearts. So whatever we do (though we can use it for good or bad due to our human nature) stems from an internal knowledge of a Creator, and is a tiny copy, a mirror, an imitation of the Best Author. 

So, yes...

What about you? 

Guest Post: Schuyler McConkey

Joining me today on Facing the Waves is another special friend of mine, Schuyler. Sharing the joys and trials of life for about 3 years now, as well as studying Scripture in the same online Bible study group has grown our friendship. Hope you are blessed by what she shares today!

Thank you, Schuyler. :)

I remember that chilly November night, walking into a church gym with a crockpot of soup in both hands, and a Bible study lesson balanced on top. I had heard things for years about Bible Study Fellowship. Friends sang its praises, wanting me to come with them to share in the experience. I wasn’t sure I wanted to devote a whole night every week to another Bible study. I already attended an online Bible study and taught one for teen girls. It didn’t seem like one more was really necessary.

Then something in my heart changed.

It was ultimately my mom that made the final suggestion to clinch my interest. “I think you should try it out. It would give you a chance to be spiritually fed yourself and get some face-to-face encouragement on a weekly basis.”

Community.

Something hungry in me reached out to the idea. I wanted community. So I cleared my schedule and gave it a try.

I don’t remember what I thought the first night. Comforted. Convicted. Nervous about fitting into a small group, eager to join the discussion once I did. By the first month I walked up to one of the group leaders to tell her that her message had met me in just the right place, and she spoke words of blessing that warmed my heart. By the end of the year, our small group was meshed so well together, and we had amazing, eye-opening discussions about God and his people as we worked through the books about Moses. By the last month, I started dreading the time when BSF would end for the season. Mostly because the fellowship I had known for six months was almost over, and it would be a whole summer before it started up again.

I had no idea that in finding community with believers, my fellowship with God would be turned upside-down; that in finding this group of loving Christians, I would finally come to grips with the fellowship a loving God desires with me.

There are few events in my life that have profoundly changed me so much as my time in Bible Study Fellowship. These lessons, simple, yet so necessary for a perfection-bound introvert, are ones I hope to carry with me all my life long. Some are small. Some are large. All are vital to a healthy spiritual life.

1. God wants me to be whole, because He wants me to be like Him.
The first month of BSF was an emotionally hard one. When you’ve fallen into years of tight-bound perfectionism, it’s hard to uncover some of those places where you’ve lied to yourself, and go back and confront sin. Hearing the Word of God in a fresh way each week, and then hearing how it should be walked out, hit me in blind spots and rough areas. But over and over again, in between the commands to walk in God’s ways, was the refrain “God wants you to be whole. That’s what holiness is. He loves your obedience, and He loves you so much He wants you to be consumed with Himself.” Holiness quit being so scary, so burdensome, so unreachable—it became a walk of patient trust, knowing that God is doing the work step by step. He will help me keep growing. And He very intentionally allows it to take time, so I can walk alongside Him.

2. It’s OK to share your broken places with others.
BSF is designed to be a place where you share the struggles. The personal prayer requests. The ways God is growing you, or challenging you, or things you didn’t understand. It was a place where I could walk up to someone and get a hug and cry a little bit if I needed to. Many times I felt the love of God wash over me through the healing, comforting touch of one of His children. After the first time sharing my heart with someone, something just came alive in me, and a perfect reputation didn’t matter anymore. Are there hard times after sharing? Oh, yes. Sometimes the memory of being vulnerable is painful. But the love I always received weighed so much more than the need to look like I had it all together. God’s love doesn’t hide things. It gives mercy and healing through honest confession of our sin and our need. It reminded me of the verse in James where God says “confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”

3. Outside accountability gives you freedom and motivation.
One night I sat next to one of my small group friends after lecture and she asked how she could pray for me. “I need to ask forgiveness from someone,” I said, “and I want to talk to them by the time I come to BSF next Monday.” The knowledge that she would ask me about it later gave me the push I needed to get some things cleared up. When you reach out to others for their input and accountability, you don’t need the mental trash of “I messed up again. I’m sinful. I’m too scared to make this right.” Instead of being YOU focused, it changes you to being GOD focused. “God wants me to be whole, and to honor Him, I need to take care of this wrong. Will you join me in prayer that I could overcome?”

4. Sometimes you accept God’s truth best when it’s spoken by someone else.
Everyone, no matter how idyllic their life, has some amount of personal baggage. When I first attended, I had several wrapped-up hurts, old ghosts, and more than likely a hidden dose of bitterness. Some of it was so ingrained, I wasn’t aware it existed. I didn’t even come expecting to have those things addressed. And then as our group leaders taught, the Holy Spirit used their lectures one by one to expose lies I had been believing. To help me forgive past wrongs. To release the power of old hurts, both self-inflicted and others-inflicted. Every week, I was confronted with a deeper picture of Jesus’ love and grace and truth that I could extend to myself and others. It brought freedom.

5. God’s Word meets you in every single circumstance you are facing.
If you want to know God’s Word is powerful, try studying Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. Not much in all those Old Testament laws to apply to modern day, is there? Actually, there is. The themes of Be Free. Be Holy. Be Equipped. Be Ready. Christians in all ages are called to holiness. Christians in all ages struggle with bondage to idols and character flaws. Christians in all ages need to be equipped to fulfill God’s calling. God’s Holy Spirit moved powerfully in our group of over 100 young adults through these books. Lives and hearts were changed, weekly. I had never experienced that before—connecting with God’s Word on a weekly basis. I’d always read it every day, for years—but connecting on a heart level, not just with occasional wow moments, but with weekly God-is-amazing moments, was a new time of wonder. We wanted the hard work that comes with holiness, simply because, how could we choose any other life in the face of a God like that?

6. Fellowship with God is sweeter than anything else I have ever experienced.
If I walked away with one last empty spot, it was the fear that my fellowship with God would be different during the summer, when I was out of BSF. I should have known better. God did a healing, changing work in my life, and He didn’t need weekly meetings to keep it up. I’m just as blessed by this next year of BSF. It’s just as needed. But I walked through a beautiful summer with God equally as good while BSF was out of session. It showed me that ultimately it wasn’t just about the group, which was merely a tool in His hands. It was all about praising Him for what He was doing. This God of the Bible is so powerful. So beautiful. So willing and available to have community with His people. So relentless about calling us to pursue holiness. He’s truthful with the way He uses His Word to wound us, and then gentle with the way He uses that same Word to bind up our wounds. I don’t know how to explain it, other than I met Him in a way I had never met Him before, because I saw Him through His Body. And now, not only is He my holy Savior, but we are simply best of friends. It’s incredibly joyful to wake up every day and face the day, whatever it holds, talking to Him through most of it.

I love BSF for being the hands and words and love of Jesus. It was something I never expected—that in the grace of this particular Christian community, I would find a beyond-imagination communion with the God I had loved since a young age. I always knew He loved me. But He used this group to help me know in a much more secure, heartfelt way.

I am His, and He is mine.

And no matter what happens, that is always enough.

Schuyler McConkey is a novelist and Bright Lights ministry leader living with her parents and two siblings. She authors a blog, My Lady Bibliophile, where she writes book reviews and articles evaluating classic literature. In her spare time, she enjoys listening to Irish love songs, learning Gaelic, and reading too many Dickens novels.

You can find her on Facebook, Pinterest, Goodreads, and Twitter.

**You can find out more about Bible Study Fellowship HERE.

The Bookshelf Tag

The Bible is not only a book of divine revelation; 

it is also a book of literary grandeur, 

sublime influence, human interest, amazing accuracy, 

perfect unity, and everlasting challenge. 

~J. Edwin Orr

Last month I was tagged for The Bookshelf Tag by Schuyler M at My Lady Bibliophile. Schuyler is a close friend of mine, and you all should check out her book blog if you haven't already. ;) Thank you for the tag, Lady B! :) 

I've been collecting books since I started to read, and I have many, many favorites. And I keep going into second-hand book stores to find more treasures--sometimes you find them in the oddest of places. I read a lot of fiction when I was younger, and I still definitely enjoy it; however, I do find more benefit from non-fiction, as I usually read to gain knowledge and to learn, and I have found that I get more out of non-fiction (during this season of life, anyway). You'll see my collection of books in the three pictures in this post. I do have many others online, but I tend to forget about them because I love reading an actual book instead of staring at a screen. 

I'm having a difficult time choosing other bloggers to tag, so if you are a reader (and a blogger ;), consider yourself tagged! :) 

1) Is there a book that you really want to read but haven’t because you know that it’ll make you cry?

Crying over books has never been an issue for me, because it's been my standard policy never to do so. :P I don't pick out books based on whether or not I will cry over them because I just don't cry, and I don't remember ever crying over a book in the past, either. However, I have read two books that I will not read again because of the terrible endings. The books were both works of fiction and were well-written with solid morals, but I did not enjoy the conclusions. I think books should have good endings, even when there are consequences for wrong actions. Personal preference, I realize. :P

2) Pick one book that helped introduce you to a new genre.

I haven't expanded my genre "collection" for a while now. I tend to stay within the realms of historical fiction and non-fiction, but I did very much enjoy The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. Those books introduced the meaning of allegory and fantasy to me. I have seen that reading fantasy that has a Scriptural worldview can really deepen your understand of the world we live in now in a way that fiction and non-fiction don't. And there are other books in the genre of fantasy that are on my to-read list.

3) Find a book that you want to reread. 

Actually a three-book series: the Crown and Covenant series by Douglas Bond. Except I might skip the ending of the third book. It's sad. :P

4) Is there a book series you read but wish that you hadn’t?

No, not a series. The two books I mentioned previously (that I wish I hadn't read) are Titus: A Comrade of the Cross by Florence Morse Kingsley (you can probably guess the ending to that book just by the title) and The Choctaw Code by Brent Ashabranner and Russell G. Davis. All the other books I have read have been more or less interesting, but those are the two I would not read again.

5) If your house were burning down and all of your family and pets were safe, which book would you go back inside to save?

Oh, dear. Schuyler changed this question a bit in her response, and I think I must do the same. Provided that my family, pets, and computer were safe, I think I would go back to save my three special Bibles. I discussed with a friend the possibility of being able to actually save the rest of my books because they are all in my bedroom which has a window, so I could potentially just throw them all out the window and be fine, depending on where the fire was, but I think that's overthinking the question. My Bibles, however, are in my work area, which would take some creativity to get to in an emergency. But I would try to save them because I've marked things in them, and they're the kind of books that I know where verses are because I can see the page in my head--where I've underlined or written things in the margins.

6) Is there one book on your bookshelf that brings back fond memories?

Well...there's this book I never got tired of as a little kid. I remember curling up on the couch or in my bed with my dad, who would patiently read and reread it for me. I'm sure I asked him to read it every night. I remember him reading it in all different sorts of accents (he was probably bored of reading it a million times, and wanted to make it more interesting for himself), and I would say "No, Dad. That's not how it goes! Read it properly!" And sometimes he would try to scare me during the scary parts. Or he would try to skip pages, but I always knew if he did. (Thanks for all the patience, Dad! ;) I can still see the pictures and pages in my head, and I can almost quote the first page from memory. There were parts I never understood as a child. For instance, I never did figure out if the "bad guy" was actually bad, but I didn't let that bother me because I didn't want to interrupt the flow of the story, and because I wanted to hear the end again. The ending was good. ;) My copy of this book has been taped and re-taped on the spine, and the front cover and pages are tattered, but I still have it. I actually searched it on Amazon.ca, and apparently it's worth 0.01 at it's cheapest (minus the shipping). Guess re-selling it as an antique isn't an option. :P I never heard of any other child who knew of the book when I was really into it, so I'm not sure it was very popular. But I lived and breathed it every night practically...for a few years. This book has other special memories along with it, but they aren't for posting on a public blog. ;) Oh, yes. The book's called Norman the Doorman by Don Freeman, and it's about ... a mouse. ;) 

7) Find a book that has inspired you the most. 

I think two books deserve a place here: So Much More by Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin (most inspiring during the ages of 14-15), and The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges (most inspiring during the ages of 19-20). The former helped me to define my role in life as a Christian, sister, daughter, and friend. And in a way, the Scriptural principles it taught determined the direction I took during and after high school. The second book was especially encouraging as it laid out the definition of holiness, how we are to view it, and why it's vital for every believer. A short book, but a mind-changing one for me. And both of these books I intend to reread again in the near future. 

8) Do you have any autographed books?

I don't think I do. And if I do, it certainly wouldn't be because I went up to somebody and asked them for their autograph. At least, not yet--not in my current collection. Don't think I'm brave enough for that sort of thing, yet. :P There is one book I'd like to have autographed, though...and if you check out the blog I mentioned at the beginning of this post, you'll find recent snippets from the Work in Progress. And someday, Lord willing, I shall have a copy of it with an autograph inside one day. ;)

9) Find the book that you have owned the longest.

Oh, that would definitely have to be the aforementioned mouse book. 

10) Is there a book by an author that you never imagined you would read or enjoy?

No, actually. When people told me that I wouldn't like a book, I usually wanted to read it to see if they were right. And I usually *cough* liked it. And all the books that people were raving about...I usually liked those, too. So I don't think I ever went into a book thinking I wouldn't enjoy it. 

But no matter what books I have collected, enjoyed, or not so much enjoyed, there is still One Book that stands above the rest in all areas: the Word of God. God's revelation to man in the written word. Despite the books, genres, authors, and literary critics that have come and gone, God's Word still remains, and it will continue to stand the test of time until our Savior comes. 

"The Bible is of such universal and perennial interest that it will call forth comments and sermons without number, to the end of time. This of itself is sufficient evidence of its divine origin and character. It is now more extensively studied than ever before, and goes on conquering and to conquer in the face of all enemies. It is inexhaustible. It never grows old, but increases in interest and value as time flows on. Human books have their day, but ‘the Word of the Lord endureth forever.’"

~Philip Schaff

When Grace Wears Thin: Guest Post

Today's post is written by a dear friend of mine. Schuyler M. is an avid reader and 
writer, and she willingly used her life experiences 
to share from her heart in this post.

I have known Schuyler for about two years now, and her godly example 

and faithful friendship to me has been a most welcome blessing.

May this post by her bless you as it has blessed me. 
Leave a comment for her, if you wish!

Thank you, Schuyler. 

~Kaleigh

________________________________

Some nights, we wonder if God's grace is quite enough. When we're laying awake, hurting, thinking over present pains and coming struggles, we wonder where the God is that said "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".

One night I was lying awake like that. I had been having nightmares night after night; terrible ones that left me feeling exhausted at the end of them. And there were other struggles going on at the same time--broken dreams, and daily crosses, and blessings I wanted that God chose not to give. It was all too much to bear, so I lay awake thinking about it.

The darkness was very dark. And God's grace seemed to fray around the edges as I tried to lean into it. 

I'm not the only one to experience this. Parents, children, friends, ministry leaders--we all go through dark times in life, even as dedicated Christians. It's natural. We experience just what David did in the Psalms. We wrestle with the effects of sin in ourselves, and in those around us. And in our battle with light and darkness, we know that Jesus has the ultimate victory, but sometimes we wonder if the darkness will swallow up a poor, lowly foot soldier before He even notices we're losing in the fray.

I lay awake, and the night pressed in heavier. And if I didn't know better, I could have sworn that God had forgotten to dispense Schuyler-grace that night.

Why do you complain, Jacob? Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”?
Do  you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

~Isaiah 40:27-28

One of the things we do when we are going through darkness is to wonder if God really knew what He was doing when He gave us this particular struggle--and if He gave us the strength we would need to get through it. In our minds we know He did, but we struggle to get the mind knowledge to the heart knowledge. We forget that God gave us a struggle or denied us a blessing because His fathomless understanding saw how He could turn it to our good and His glory.

Time and again I've cried out to the Lord "I want more grace! I want more!" But He says, "I've given you sufficient grace. Not grace that will take away all your problems, but grace that will bring you through them. Enough for the next second. Second after second, I'll never let you down. But I'm not going to give you enough so that you think you don't need me." And He gives me enough so that I'm like an infant, relying on him for all my care.

It is hard to remember that God, in love, denies blessings as well as gives them, but it is true. And it is His love that sends us through the darkness so that we can experience true light.

Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the voice of his servant?

Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. ~Isaiah 50:10

The night I couldn't sleep, I turned on my music player and flipped through to Nella Fantasia, which is my favorite soothing go-to music when I need to re-set my thoughts. When the mind is overwhelmed by darkness, the quickest way to feel God's grace again is to calm our thoughts so we can bring ourselves to a place of surrender. Sometimes we are able to do this through reading a timely Scripture passage. Sometimes we find surrender through an email from a friend, or a hug from a sibling, or a word of praise from a parent. Sometimes we even find it by listening to a tenor singing Italian.  Whatever it takes, it is when we can bring ourselves to a posture of expectant waiting that we give God room to show that He still holds us close.

I fell asleep, rather fittingly, to a plea in a foreign language for a just world where pain ends. My soul waited with open hands for the grace I needed.

And then, as the night ended, His grace came.

Dawn broke. Dawn broke.

Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.

~Psalm 30:5b

Christians in the present day aren't the only people to struggle with a seeming grace shortage. The ultimate feeling of insufficient grace came at the crucifixion of the hope of Israel. Jesus' disciples, just like us, entered darkness and felt like the night would never end. They endured three days of living hell when Jesus died, and the promised Messiah lay dead in the tomb. But their dawn came, and this gives us the promise that our dawn will come too.

The wonder, the relief we will experience, when the greatest nightmare of broken dreams gives way to the dawning reality of a Living God. 

Dawn comes after night. As we bury dead hopes in relationships or life, we always have to endure the three days of darkness that the disciples did. That's part of our cross to bear. But just as they saw their Hope rise again, we will see ours. And I think in some ways it will always be unexpected, because God wants to give all believers the grace of tasting what it was like to see His Son rise again, even though we live centuries after it happened.

When I woke up that morning, I thanked God that he had brought me through the night to see another dawn. Just the new day was enough, for it promised me that He had gotten me that far, and would bring me through the day. Time passed, and my hope increased as I sensed His grace undergirding and supporting me.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

~Isaiah 40:29-31

Dawn always comes. In every ticking second of darkness, we must cling to the hope that dawn will come, that the little pinpoint of light we see in front of us is our great God leading us to the coming day. All of us struggle. All of us go through seasons of walking in darkness, sometimes darkness that is very great indeed. Families sin and turn upon each other. Projects fall through, ones that we've been working on for a long time. Friends get busy and sometimes forget to encourage. And we see darkness. But the promise of coming dawn is eternal, unchangeable. As eternal and unchangeable as the God we worship. His grace can never alter or wear thin, and God, who deals so abundantly with us, will ensure that we have enough. It will be there for us through the deepest darkness, and we are assured that all evil shall be vanquished, all heartache shall be healed, and our Lord shall work deliverance on behalf of His people.

If you are walking in darkness, then wait for the Lord to restore your hope. Dawn will come, for no force--neither our fears, nor our struggles, nor our disappointments--can hold it back. And when it comes, remember to give thanks to God for his abundant grace.

Schuyler M. is an avid bibliophile, a young ladies' ministry leader, and an aspiring novelist. Styling herself as Lady Bibliophile, she runs a book blog, My Lady Bibliophile, where she posts Tuesdays and Fridays with book reviews and Christian evaluation methods of classic literature. In her spare time, she likes to listen to Celtic music, write novels, and day-dream about what her growing manuscript would look like on the silver screen.