Guest Post: Schuyler McConkey

Joining me today on Facing the Waves is another special friend of mine, Schuyler. Sharing the joys and trials of life for about 3 years now, as well as studying Scripture in the same online Bible study group has grown our friendship. Hope you are blessed by what she shares today!

Thank you, Schuyler. :)

I remember that chilly November night, walking into a church gym with a crockpot of soup in both hands, and a Bible study lesson balanced on top. I had heard things for years about Bible Study Fellowship. Friends sang its praises, wanting me to come with them to share in the experience. I wasn’t sure I wanted to devote a whole night every week to another Bible study. I already attended an online Bible study and taught one for teen girls. It didn’t seem like one more was really necessary.

Then something in my heart changed.

It was ultimately my mom that made the final suggestion to clinch my interest. “I think you should try it out. It would give you a chance to be spiritually fed yourself and get some face-to-face encouragement on a weekly basis.”

Community.

Something hungry in me reached out to the idea. I wanted community. So I cleared my schedule and gave it a try.

I don’t remember what I thought the first night. Comforted. Convicted. Nervous about fitting into a small group, eager to join the discussion once I did. By the first month I walked up to one of the group leaders to tell her that her message had met me in just the right place, and she spoke words of blessing that warmed my heart. By the end of the year, our small group was meshed so well together, and we had amazing, eye-opening discussions about God and his people as we worked through the books about Moses. By the last month, I started dreading the time when BSF would end for the season. Mostly because the fellowship I had known for six months was almost over, and it would be a whole summer before it started up again.

I had no idea that in finding community with believers, my fellowship with God would be turned upside-down; that in finding this group of loving Christians, I would finally come to grips with the fellowship a loving God desires with me.

There are few events in my life that have profoundly changed me so much as my time in Bible Study Fellowship. These lessons, simple, yet so necessary for a perfection-bound introvert, are ones I hope to carry with me all my life long. Some are small. Some are large. All are vital to a healthy spiritual life.

1. God wants me to be whole, because He wants me to be like Him.
The first month of BSF was an emotionally hard one. When you’ve fallen into years of tight-bound perfectionism, it’s hard to uncover some of those places where you’ve lied to yourself, and go back and confront sin. Hearing the Word of God in a fresh way each week, and then hearing how it should be walked out, hit me in blind spots and rough areas. But over and over again, in between the commands to walk in God’s ways, was the refrain “God wants you to be whole. That’s what holiness is. He loves your obedience, and He loves you so much He wants you to be consumed with Himself.” Holiness quit being so scary, so burdensome, so unreachable—it became a walk of patient trust, knowing that God is doing the work step by step. He will help me keep growing. And He very intentionally allows it to take time, so I can walk alongside Him.

2. It’s OK to share your broken places with others.
BSF is designed to be a place where you share the struggles. The personal prayer requests. The ways God is growing you, or challenging you, or things you didn’t understand. It was a place where I could walk up to someone and get a hug and cry a little bit if I needed to. Many times I felt the love of God wash over me through the healing, comforting touch of one of His children. After the first time sharing my heart with someone, something just came alive in me, and a perfect reputation didn’t matter anymore. Are there hard times after sharing? Oh, yes. Sometimes the memory of being vulnerable is painful. But the love I always received weighed so much more than the need to look like I had it all together. God’s love doesn’t hide things. It gives mercy and healing through honest confession of our sin and our need. It reminded me of the verse in James where God says “confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”

3. Outside accountability gives you freedom and motivation.
One night I sat next to one of my small group friends after lecture and she asked how she could pray for me. “I need to ask forgiveness from someone,” I said, “and I want to talk to them by the time I come to BSF next Monday.” The knowledge that she would ask me about it later gave me the push I needed to get some things cleared up. When you reach out to others for their input and accountability, you don’t need the mental trash of “I messed up again. I’m sinful. I’m too scared to make this right.” Instead of being YOU focused, it changes you to being GOD focused. “God wants me to be whole, and to honor Him, I need to take care of this wrong. Will you join me in prayer that I could overcome?”

4. Sometimes you accept God’s truth best when it’s spoken by someone else.
Everyone, no matter how idyllic their life, has some amount of personal baggage. When I first attended, I had several wrapped-up hurts, old ghosts, and more than likely a hidden dose of bitterness. Some of it was so ingrained, I wasn’t aware it existed. I didn’t even come expecting to have those things addressed. And then as our group leaders taught, the Holy Spirit used their lectures one by one to expose lies I had been believing. To help me forgive past wrongs. To release the power of old hurts, both self-inflicted and others-inflicted. Every week, I was confronted with a deeper picture of Jesus’ love and grace and truth that I could extend to myself and others. It brought freedom.

5. God’s Word meets you in every single circumstance you are facing.
If you want to know God’s Word is powerful, try studying Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. Not much in all those Old Testament laws to apply to modern day, is there? Actually, there is. The themes of Be Free. Be Holy. Be Equipped. Be Ready. Christians in all ages are called to holiness. Christians in all ages struggle with bondage to idols and character flaws. Christians in all ages need to be equipped to fulfill God’s calling. God’s Holy Spirit moved powerfully in our group of over 100 young adults through these books. Lives and hearts were changed, weekly. I had never experienced that before—connecting with God’s Word on a weekly basis. I’d always read it every day, for years—but connecting on a heart level, not just with occasional wow moments, but with weekly God-is-amazing moments, was a new time of wonder. We wanted the hard work that comes with holiness, simply because, how could we choose any other life in the face of a God like that?

6. Fellowship with God is sweeter than anything else I have ever experienced.
If I walked away with one last empty spot, it was the fear that my fellowship with God would be different during the summer, when I was out of BSF. I should have known better. God did a healing, changing work in my life, and He didn’t need weekly meetings to keep it up. I’m just as blessed by this next year of BSF. It’s just as needed. But I walked through a beautiful summer with God equally as good while BSF was out of session. It showed me that ultimately it wasn’t just about the group, which was merely a tool in His hands. It was all about praising Him for what He was doing. This God of the Bible is so powerful. So beautiful. So willing and available to have community with His people. So relentless about calling us to pursue holiness. He’s truthful with the way He uses His Word to wound us, and then gentle with the way He uses that same Word to bind up our wounds. I don’t know how to explain it, other than I met Him in a way I had never met Him before, because I saw Him through His Body. And now, not only is He my holy Savior, but we are simply best of friends. It’s incredibly joyful to wake up every day and face the day, whatever it holds, talking to Him through most of it.

I love BSF for being the hands and words and love of Jesus. It was something I never expected—that in the grace of this particular Christian community, I would find a beyond-imagination communion with the God I had loved since a young age. I always knew He loved me. But He used this group to help me know in a much more secure, heartfelt way.

I am His, and He is mine.

And no matter what happens, that is always enough.

Schuyler McConkey is a novelist and Bright Lights ministry leader living with her parents and two siblings. She authors a blog, My Lady Bibliophile, where she writes book reviews and articles evaluating classic literature. In her spare time, she enjoys listening to Irish love songs, learning Gaelic, and reading too many Dickens novels.

You can find her on Facebook, Pinterest, Goodreads, and Twitter.

**You can find out more about Bible Study Fellowship HERE.