Friendship: Characteristics

"For where two or three

are gathered together in my name,

there am I in the midst of them."

Matthew 18:20

Friends...
We all have them or have had them at one point in time. They are just one of the many relationships that a person will face throughout their lifetime. Friends are an important part of most people's lives. Friends are a family outside your immediate family, and those whom you choose as friends will have a large impact on your life.

God puts many different requirements on friendships. Some are stated specifically, others are implied. Here are five simple points that I've learned and seen played out in real life friendships.

1. Friends talk freely face to face.
"And the Lord spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend." (Exodus 33:11)
There is a familiarity and a confidence friends must have with each other. False fronts will damage a relationship, so our true thoughts and feelings must be expressed tactfully in order to keep relationships alive.
"Go home to your friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee." (Mark 5:19)
Talk to your friends about your spiritual life. Share with them what God is doing in your life and what you are learning. Count your blessings together, and praise the Lord for what He has fulfilled in you. Discuss deep issues--maybe even ones you're hesitant to talk about. Learn to give your trust to another, and learn to treasure the trust that a friend has in you, and use that closeness to allow to benefit the spiritual life of one another.

2. Friends are loyal and do not forsake one another.
"Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not..." (Proverbs 27:10)
 Friendships are not to be taken lightly. Relationships, emotions, and people are at stake. Don't be a fair weather friend, but stick by each other, not only in times of hardship, but also in times of ease. Be loyal to a few close friends, rather than gaining many acquaintances, and don't forsake your faithful friends in the midst of the busyness of life.

3. Friends sacrifice their time for the needs of each other.
"...because he is his friend...he will rise and give him as many as he needeth." (see context of Luke 11: 5-8)
Sometimes we feel like we're too busy to spend time discussing surface matters with friends, yet sometimes that is just what they need. Perhaps they're going through some difficult changes and they need to just "resurface" and laugh again. Sometimes we feel that life is crazy, and we think we don't have a moment to spend listening to a friend's prayer request. Yet, in the passage of Luke, because of that friendship, and because you care for that friend, you will stop your life for a bit and put them first. Listeners can often lead relationships, just by being there for someone and offering advice in a time of need. Don't let life get in the way of giving to your friends when they need your help--whether tangibly or spiritually. 
"Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel." (Proverbs 27:9) 

4. Friends love one another. 
"A friend loveth at all times..." (Proverbs 17:17)
Fair-weather friendships will not last.  God-honoring, Christ-centered relationships must be rooted in the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love. Only these kinds of friendships will be able to weather the storms of life and pull through to the other side. Only these kinds of relationships will produce edifying results for, not just both people, but for all those around them. 
A friend doesn't just say that he loves another person by speaking it, but he must also show his love in his actions. 
"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth." (1 John 3:18) Showing that you care for that friend by spending time with them, exhorting them in the Lord, laughing when they laugh, crying when they cry, praying when they pray, and by living an example of love. 

5. Friends encourage, counsel, and caution each other in order to produce greater Christ-likeness. 
"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17)
When a friend is discouraged and finding it hard to go on, a true friend will be there to cheer them on; reminding them that their strength is found in Christ. When they are confused and unsure of what steps to take next in a life problem, then friends are there to give Biblical counsel and provide direction. When a friend seems to be succumbing to sin, then friends are there to caution, exhort, and warn him of the consequences by speaking the truth in love. 

I have seen these five points acted out by different friends around me, and I can truly say that I have been blessed with godly friends. I cannot say that I agree with those people who think that friendships aren't important or that they aren't necessary for life. They are important, and though they may not be necessary, they can be a vital part in our lives. Finding the right friends and allowing them to encourage you in the Lord will be even be a part of your spiritual walk.

"It is a mercy to have a faithful friend that loveth you entirely to whom you may open your mind and communicate your affairs. And it is a mercy to have so near a friend to be a helper to your soul and to stir you up in the grace of God." (Richard Baxter)

"Friendship is one of the sweetest joys of life. Many might have failed beneath the bitterness of their trial had they not found a friend." (Charles H. Spurgeon)

"What’s our relationship to each other? We’re brothers and sisters in Christ. How do we view/treat each other? With honor. And what’s the secret to our zeal? Service—side by side for God’s glory. Guided by this attitude, being “just friends” can be just plain awesome." (Joshua Harris)

God bless you all, my friends. ;) 

In Christ, 

Kaleigh