Friendship: Characteristics

"For where two or three

are gathered together in my name,

there am I in the midst of them."

Matthew 18:20

Friends...
We all have them or have had them at one point in time. They are just one of the many relationships that a person will face throughout their lifetime. Friends are an important part of most people's lives. Friends are a family outside your immediate family, and those whom you choose as friends will have a large impact on your life.

God puts many different requirements on friendships. Some are stated specifically, others are implied. Here are five simple points that I've learned and seen played out in real life friendships.

1. Friends talk freely face to face.
"And the Lord spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend." (Exodus 33:11)
There is a familiarity and a confidence friends must have with each other. False fronts will damage a relationship, so our true thoughts and feelings must be expressed tactfully in order to keep relationships alive.
"Go home to your friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee." (Mark 5:19)
Talk to your friends about your spiritual life. Share with them what God is doing in your life and what you are learning. Count your blessings together, and praise the Lord for what He has fulfilled in you. Discuss deep issues--maybe even ones you're hesitant to talk about. Learn to give your trust to another, and learn to treasure the trust that a friend has in you, and use that closeness to allow to benefit the spiritual life of one another.

2. Friends are loyal and do not forsake one another.
"Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not..." (Proverbs 27:10)
 Friendships are not to be taken lightly. Relationships, emotions, and people are at stake. Don't be a fair weather friend, but stick by each other, not only in times of hardship, but also in times of ease. Be loyal to a few close friends, rather than gaining many acquaintances, and don't forsake your faithful friends in the midst of the busyness of life.

3. Friends sacrifice their time for the needs of each other.
"...because he is his friend...he will rise and give him as many as he needeth." (see context of Luke 11: 5-8)
Sometimes we feel like we're too busy to spend time discussing surface matters with friends, yet sometimes that is just what they need. Perhaps they're going through some difficult changes and they need to just "resurface" and laugh again. Sometimes we feel that life is crazy, and we think we don't have a moment to spend listening to a friend's prayer request. Yet, in the passage of Luke, because of that friendship, and because you care for that friend, you will stop your life for a bit and put them first. Listeners can often lead relationships, just by being there for someone and offering advice in a time of need. Don't let life get in the way of giving to your friends when they need your help--whether tangibly or spiritually. 
"Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel." (Proverbs 27:9) 

4. Friends love one another. 
"A friend loveth at all times..." (Proverbs 17:17)
Fair-weather friendships will not last.  God-honoring, Christ-centered relationships must be rooted in the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love. Only these kinds of friendships will be able to weather the storms of life and pull through to the other side. Only these kinds of relationships will produce edifying results for, not just both people, but for all those around them. 
A friend doesn't just say that he loves another person by speaking it, but he must also show his love in his actions. 
"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth." (1 John 3:18) Showing that you care for that friend by spending time with them, exhorting them in the Lord, laughing when they laugh, crying when they cry, praying when they pray, and by living an example of love. 

5. Friends encourage, counsel, and caution each other in order to produce greater Christ-likeness. 
"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17)
When a friend is discouraged and finding it hard to go on, a true friend will be there to cheer them on; reminding them that their strength is found in Christ. When they are confused and unsure of what steps to take next in a life problem, then friends are there to give Biblical counsel and provide direction. When a friend seems to be succumbing to sin, then friends are there to caution, exhort, and warn him of the consequences by speaking the truth in love. 

I have seen these five points acted out by different friends around me, and I can truly say that I have been blessed with godly friends. I cannot say that I agree with those people who think that friendships aren't important or that they aren't necessary for life. They are important, and though they may not be necessary, they can be a vital part in our lives. Finding the right friends and allowing them to encourage you in the Lord will be even be a part of your spiritual walk.

"It is a mercy to have a faithful friend that loveth you entirely to whom you may open your mind and communicate your affairs. And it is a mercy to have so near a friend to be a helper to your soul and to stir you up in the grace of God." (Richard Baxter)

"Friendship is one of the sweetest joys of life. Many might have failed beneath the bitterness of their trial had they not found a friend." (Charles H. Spurgeon)

"What’s our relationship to each other? We’re brothers and sisters in Christ. How do we view/treat each other? With honor. And what’s the secret to our zeal? Service—side by side for God’s glory. Guided by this attitude, being “just friends” can be just plain awesome." (Joshua Harris)

God bless you all, my friends. ;) 

In Christ, 

Kaleigh 

Running the Race

"So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified."
                                                               1 Corinthians 9:26-27


Running and the whole exercise bit has been heavily on my mind the past week. Pushing the miles and losing some calories is definitely time consuming; but my goal is to honor God by taking an extra step to being healthy, while keeping a positive attitude if I don't have the world record in running or cycling. In any event, it's a way to get out of the house and spend some time thinking. Setting a goal and sticking to it is the hardest at this point, as taking a long break after the winter months makes a routine very difficult to get into. But after seven days of it, I'm happy to have exercised over 11.28 miles.

However, there is another aspect in "running". And this is the running of our Spiritual races. As Paul wrote in Hebrews 12:2: "We do this [race] by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion Who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne." When our focus is on God, we can see His working in our lives. Just as in a foot race, we look to the finish line. It's there, and though it's so far away, we have taken the necessary steps to get ourselves conditioned. Before the race, we have to strengthen our muscles. In our Spiritual lives, we condition our hearts, by spending time in God's Word and fellowshipping with other believers. And when we run a physical race, we put on the proper shoes to protect our feet and wear our team color so that others know which side we're running for. Just as with God, we put on His armor to protect ourselves and wear His "team color", so people know that we are running this race for Him.

How do we prepare ourselves for the race that we run for God? What safeguards can we set? As the opening verses to this blog stated: "So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified." What Paul is saying here, is that we need to run with a purpose. What this "purpose" is, I believe, is to run for Christ and Him alone. Our purpose should be to glorify Him with what we do, what we say, what we think, how we act.

Now, let's take a look at the two verses before, in 1 Corinthians 24-25: "Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize". For all four of these verses, I'd like to include a commentary from an NLT Bible regarding the purpose and discipline that goes into training. "Winning a race requires purpose and discipline. Paul uses this illustration to explain that the Christian life takes hard work, self-denial, and grueling preparation. As Christians, we are running toward our heavenly reward. The essential disciplines of prayer, Bible study, and worship equip us to run with vigor and stamina. Don't merely observe from the grandstand; don't just turn out to jog a couple of laps each morning. Train diligently--your spiritual progress depends upon it." I think this commentary is very beneficial, because we don't just read a verse a year and plan on knowing Christ better. We don't just show up at church on Christmas and Easter Sundays. To grow in the Lord, we need to continually search the Scriptures and be in fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ, in order to build each other up.

I surely don't mean to preach at you about this, as sometimes, I can feel lazy and miss personal "quiet time" with God. Something like spiritual growth--as well as conditioning our bodies physically--takes a lot of "self-discipline". But we must keep walking in the faith and depending on the Lord for the strength we need to carry on. One verse that goes along with this post, would be Hebrews 12:1-2. But while I leave you to look  it up, I will bring up another point that is just a few verses down. This is actually something that a friend of mine reminded me of last night. Though hard times may inflict us and we question God "Why me? Why put me here?", God may just be preparing us for something further up the road. By my learning to submit to His will now, I will be better equipped to submit to Him in the trials that I will face later in life. But in Hebrews 12:6, it says: "For the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes each one He accepts as His child". Though we may sometimes lose sight of the "goal" and our purpose for living seems so small and unimportant, God will bring us back and put us on "track". God knows that chastising His children is important in their walk; and if He did not discipline them, it would not be real love.

Also, I'd like to include a song for you that really summarizes up these thoughts: Runner   

In closing, I want to encourage you that "..when the road is long, Feel like giving up but you're hanging on. Oh runner, when the race is won, You will run into His arms". 

It's so worth it, my friend. No matter what test you have coming up, no matter what your fears or past failures have been, stay strong. You have been created for a purpose. Don't let the world discourage you and make you stop running. There is still a long ways to run, but God has given you every necessary tool to win the race.

Sister in Christ,
Anna

A Tribute to my Grandma

Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. 

I wrote part of this letter before my grandma (affectionately called "Granny") passed away on March 24th--twenty-seven days before her 90th birthday. I came back and edited this letter a few days after. Perhaps it will give you a glimpse into her relationship with my family.  Her spiritual state was uncertain, but I do hope that I will be able to spend eternity with her. 

Dear Granny,

I have been blessed to have you throughout 18 years of my life. Though you are gone now, I will always treasure the times we had together, and I will always remember how much you loved us. Thank you for being such a wonderful grandmother to my sisters and me.

You were always a part of our life. There are so many memories I cherish, and I’m sure I will forget some of the small details eventually, but in this letter (that I started before you passed away), I will attempt to put into words some of the special times we had together.  

I remember when I was very young visiting your apartment. I always loved coming to visit you and I was especially fascinated by the lock on the front entrance door—it was exactly my height.

I remember when you lived in the house in Arbor Crescent with Opa [her husband]. We’d knock on the door and Opa would answer, and we would look past him to see you sitting on the couch knitting. We’d come over and hug you and you’d call us your “three little angels”.

I loved to come and sleep over with you when I was growing up. You took me for walks to the park or just around the block, and on trips to the dollar stores to buy things to take back to our family. I remember how you and Opa would set up the couch so I could sleep on it—and I would fall asleep to the bubbling fish tank.

I remember (on one of our trips to the malls) having my purse stolen in Wal-Mart. You searched the whole store, parking lot, and car with me to see if we could find it. I got tired pretty quickly and I remember asking you if your feet hurt, but you said “no”. You kept looking until we were sure it was gone for good, even though I had lost hope a while back. I remember how special it was to come over because you’d let us watch TV. And in the evening after dinner, you and Opa and I played Rummy-O together after supper and we enjoyed many laughs.

You loved to host amazing meals for family get-togethers. Cooking was something you enjoyed, and it was extra special because you did it with love. You were always worried that there wasn’t enough food—after practically every single serving dish in the house had been filled. You taught me how to make pasta sauce on one of my stays at your house, and I still make it like that to this day, even though it doesn’t taste nearly as good. You taught me how to make bread in the bread maker, too—a skill much needed and still used. You also came over once and taught us how to make homemade pasta. And then Hannah and I wrote about the experience and entered it in the Island Grandparent magazine.  

You loved to knit, and I remember you teaching me how to knit. I never did master pearl knitting, but I do still have my 1^st pair of knitting needles that you gave me. You knitted two previous blankets for me which I still have and love. In your last months in the senior residence and then later in my aunt and uncle’s home, you began knitting baby blankets for my sisters and me. Sadly, this was a project that you weren’t able to finish.  But you often mentioned us getting married, and that you would love to see your great-grandchildren.  

When you first moved to the Origin [the senior’s residence], you were disappointed that you couldn’t cook as you used to. And even though you couldn’t bake for us, you’d save the cookies and hot chocolate packages from the downstairs dining center so we could have them when we came to visit. You also loved our music, and would often try to set up performances at the Origin so others could hear us.

You were always unselfish and giving. You never complained intentionally. I remember Opa often telling you to sit down more, because you were always working. Even when you moved from the senior’s residence and spent time with us, you were always trying to clean the house for us—and after a while we had to say that you were only allowed to fold laundry. When you moved to my aunt and uncle's house you continued to bless us. You gave us gifts and took us shopping when you could. We enjoyed having you at our house, too, Granny. You liked to sit and knit or just talk with us when we took a break from school.

I know there is so much more that I haven’t included, but I wanted to thank you for all you have done of us. Your influence on my sister’s and my life has been huge. I always admired your self-sacrificial love and hard-working spirit. I am sure there will be many events in the future that I would have loved to share with you, but I’m thankful for the wonderful years you shared with us. You are very special and much loved, Granny. I love you.

Your granddaughter,

Kaleigh Rose 

James 4:14-Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. 

In Christ,

Kaleigh